Torched: Afterburn (Iron Serpents Motorcycle Club Book 2) Page 13

  I trusted Zed and knew I could confide in him, but today wasn’t about me. Buddha was the one with real problems, I couldn’t even figure out what mine were aside from being worried about my man. So, I tried to change the subject. “I didn’t tell Torch you gave Nadia a car either. What’s up with that? Are you two a thing?”

  He groaned and shook his head.

  “What?”

  “You know damn well what. You deflect questions better than a fucking politician.”

  “I can’t help it, just part of my charm I guess.”

  “Or you’ve had to watch what you say your whole life,” he added.

  “That too.”

  He cocked his head like he was trying to read my face, or at least trying to unnerve me. “It couldn’t have been easy. I don’t know if I could go that long always watching my back and not having anybody to trust.”

  “You get used to it.”

  “Yeah, I imagine you’d have to. Eventually, it just becomes who you are, right?”

  Why did it feel like I was being lured into a trap? “What are we talking about?” I asked.

  “You. Your life before and your life now. It’s a change and change is hard, that’s all I’m saying.”

  Goddamn it, he’d deflected right back and hit the nail on the head. “But it’s a good change,” I insisted.

  He eyed me skeptically, like he knew I was talking out of my ass and was just daring me to lie to him.

  Fuck.

  “Fine,” I sighed. “You wanna know what’s bothering me, Z? I’m trying my best stay cool and give Torch his space, but I know something’s going on and it’s driving me fucking nuts that I can’t do shit to make his life easier. I’ve had to be a fixer my whole life, I don’t know how to just sit back and wait for things to work themselves out.”

  He scratched his beard and nodded. “I get that. I’d say you’re doing a lot just by being there, but I know it’s not what you wanna hear.”

  “Nope, not really. I’m sorry, this is why I didn’t wanna say anything. You don’t need to be in the middle of something I’m not even sure is a problem.” Shaking my head at myself, I stood up and grabbed my helmet from the table. “I think I’m just gonna go for a quick ride and air out my brain. See you later, okay?”

  As I turned to leave, he grabbed my hand and stopped me. “Give it some time, Liv. Nothing good ever comes easy.”

  I pursed my lips and smiled. “I know, we’ll figure it out.”

  “You will.” He stood up and touched my back. “Come on, I’ll walk you out. I could use a smoke.”

  I strolled outside and immediately saw Torch standing on the sidewalk talking to Gauge. Spotting me, he patted Gauge on the back and starting walking over.

  “Hey, babe,” he said, leaning down to kiss me. “How’s everything going in there?”

  “Better than expected. We’ve had a hundred and twenty people get tested, I thought we’d get maybe half of that.”

  He smiled. “That’s how we do things around here.”

  “Church tonight, brother?” Zed asked.

  “Yeah, at seven,” Torch told him.

  I noticed their eyes doing a weird little dance and wondered what the inside scoop was. Jesus, it really was driving me fucking insane not knowing.

  “Liv!”

  I looked to my left and saw Roxy heading down the sidewalk toward me. Moira, Tamra, and Dana were huddled together and stayed behind, the latter giving me her notorious stink eye. She still wasn’t over her shit with me? Talk about holding onto a dumb fucking grudge.

  Rox gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Hey, doll, been a while.”

  “What are you crazy bitches plotting over there?” Torch asked her.

  She planted her hands on her hips and huffed. “Why do you always assume we’re up to no good?”

  “Because you usually are,” he shot back. “Don’t be teaching my old lady your tricks.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, your old lady’s got plenty of her own tricks.”

  “I’m standing right here,” I reminded them.

  Rox turned her attention back on me. “We’re going to Scooter’s for breakfast, you’re coming with us.”

  I glanced over her shoulder. Yup, still getting filthy looks. “I don’t think Dana—”

  “Dana’s being Dana, you two need to squash it,” Rox cut in.

  “Squash what?” Torch asked.

  “Nothing.” I narrowed my eyes at Rox.

  She grinned and opened her big mouth like I knew she would. “Beanie didn’t tell you? Dana made the mistake of talking shit about Nadia and pointing a finger in Liv’s face. Your woman about broke her hand and threatened to kick her ass.”

  “I did not almost break her hand,” I argued. “Her fingers, maybe.”

  Zed chuckled. “Forget squashing it over lunch. Torch, we need to bust out the baby oil and get them in the ring.”

  My husband snickered and shook his head. “Wouldn’t be worth the mess, Liv would wipe the floor with her ass in ten seconds.”

  Rox rolled her eyes again. “Nobody’s wiping the floor with anybody else. Come on, Liv, I know you’re over it.”

  “Of course I’m over it, it wasn’t even that big of a deal.” I looked back at Torch. “Do you want me to bring you back some food?”

  “Nah, I’m good.” He playfully swatted my ass. “Have fun.”

  Huh. His mood seemed to be improving, maybe it had something to do with whatever was going down at church that night. Goddamn it, I had to quit over-analyzing.

  “Zed, you want anything?” I asked.

  “Just a text if you and Dana decide to go at it again,” he requested with a grin.

  I shook my head and walked off, following Rox to the crosswalk where the other girls stood waiting. I exchanged kisses on the cheek with all three of them—including a frigid Dana—before realizing I still had my helmet in my hand.

  “I’ll be right back,” I told Rox. I ran back over to Torch and handed it to him. “Can you put this under the bar for me?”

  “Sure thing, babe.”

  I winked at him and went jogging back to rejoin the girls.

  I’d only caught up to them halfway when the crosswalk light turned white, so I sped up to a sprint. But just as I stepped off the curb, the sound of squealing tires grabbed my attention. I looked down the road to my left and saw a red sedan racing toward us.

  Shit, he was going way too fast.

  Everything else in my vision slowed.

  I whipped my head back over at the girls. They were still in the middle of the street, but noticed the car right then too and went scattering. All except for Dana, who’d apparently just dropped something because she was obliviously looking at the ground and took a step back.

  When Mo yelled her name, Dana finally looked up and saw it. But she didn’t run, she fucking froze.

  Fuck.

  “Dana!” I screamed, lunging out into the road.

  In what felt like even slower motion, I flew in front of the car and tackled her forward, sending us hurling head-on into a bus bench on the sidewalk. With a thud, my body sandwiched hers to it.

  As Dana let out a bloodcurdling scream, I rolled to my back and pulled her down on top of me. Overwhelmed with panic, I slid out from under her and looked her up and down. I could hear motorcycles starting up. “Babe, you okay?” I rasped.

  “The baby!” she cried out, holding onto her stomach.

  What?

  Oh, Christ. No.

  It hit me then that I’d sent her midsection slamming right into the corner of the bench, the weight of my body making the impact even more devastating. It also hit me why she’d been more moody and pissy than usual the last few weeks.

  Shit.

  Gauge came flying over and knelt down next to her. “Babe… Fuck… We called 911, just hang on, okay?”

  “Liv!” I heard Torch roar over the sound of his bike. I looked up to see him skidding to a stop next to us.

&nbs
p; “I’m fine, go after the car!” I yelled.

  He frowned but gave me a nod and went tearing down the road, several guys already ahead of him.

  There was nothing I could do except wait for the approaching ambulance—the sirens were already getting close—so I set my sights back on a shell-shocked Dana and just held her hand as Gauge wrapped her in his arms.

  Jesus, what the hell had I done? Why hadn’t I seen that bench and angled away from it?

  My throat tightened and tears filled my eyes. “God, I’m so sorry,” I muttered, hanging my head as the reality of what I’d caused overwhelmed me.

  : 15 :

  | LIVIA |

  After a brief moment of hesitation, mostly because I wasn’t sure what the hell to say, I knocked on Dana’s hospital door and cracked it open. Gauge was sitting next to her on the bed with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. “Hey, Liv. Come on in.”

  Dana looked up, her tear-streaked cheeks instantly crushing my soul. I’d never seen her this broken. It may have been the pain meds, but her eyes were seemingly void of life. “I’m glad you’re here,” she said, her voice just as lacking in its usual energy. Glancing up at her husband, she asked, “Babe, can you give us a minute?”

  He kissed the top of her head and slid off the mattress. “You want me to get you anything?”

  “I’m okay,” she murmured.

  “Okay, baby. I’ll be right outside.” He walked toward me and squeezed my arm. “Did you get checked out?”

  “Yeah, Beanie made me see a damn doctor against my will. Just some bruises,” I assured him.

  “Good, I’m glad. Liv… Thank you. It could’ve been a lot worse.”

  I forced a pained smile, my heart aching for him just as much as Dana.

  I wasn’t about to press her or Gauge for details, but I’d been told her spleen had ruptured from the trauma and she’d had emergency surgery to remove it. Somewhere along the way, she’d lost the baby none of us knew she was carrying. Of course, not knowing wasn’t easing my guilt at all. I should have known. If I hadn’t been a stubborn bitch and picked up the phone to call her a few days earlier, I probably would have.

  I’d done nothing but replay the hit-and-run over and over in my head, trying to figure out what I could have done differently in that crucial moment. Maybe if I’d grabbed her in a different way or shoved her to the side instead of pushing her forward… Maybe if I’d stepped off the curb a second faster… Maybe if I’d taken that fucking helmet with me instead of running back to give it to Torch… There were so many maybes running through my brain that my memory of the scene was starting to become a blur.

  More than anything, I was shrouded in guilt and felt like an utter failure for not protecting both mother and child. I was pissed at myself, the asshole driver, and frankly, Torch, who I had a feeling knew exactly why this had happened. He’d promised—fucking vowed—to keep me in the loop. Two months into our marriage and he was already going back on it. What the fuck?

  No more, we were settling this shit today. I wasn’t a fan of ultimatums and had no intention of making a run for it, but if I had to threaten to leave to get him to talk, so be it.

  Dana held out her hand. “Sit with me.”

  I took it in mine and sat down in the chair next to her. “Sweetie—”

  “Please don’t,” she croaked. “I know what’s going through your head and you couldn’t have done anything different. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be dead. I’m the one who needs to apologize for acting like a nutcase over Nadia.”

  “Don’t worry about it, I probably shouldn’t have been so harsh,” I admitted.

  “You weren’t, I deserved it. Liv, if there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you don’t go after people unless they come after you. And I came at you like a fucking hyena. I’m sorry. I’d like to blame it on the hormones, but everybody knows I’m just a bitch in general.”

  We both managed pained smiles, and with no further mention of it, let bygones be bygones.

  “I don’t suppose you know why this happened?” she asked. “Gauge won’t tell me anything.”

  I shook my head. “I honestly have no idea, but I’m sure it’ll be taken care of. Whoever was driving that car won’t get away with it. You just focus on getting some rest and maybe you and Gauge can try again soon.”

  “The doctor says everything’s okay in there and we shouldn’t have any problems trying for another. It was kind of early anyway, we just found out a couple days ago. It’s weird, Liv, we didn’t even want kids but the news got Gauge all excited. We’ve been doing nothing but fighting lately, but seeing that test come up positive breathed life back into our marriage... I guess it could be worse though, it’s not like I had all this time to bond with it or anything. ”

  I squeezed her hand. “It doesn’t matter how long you knew, your life changed from one day to the next. And then changed again. You have every right to mourn. Just do your best to remember all the love and support you have, okay?”

  “Yeah, I will.”

  “Good. Listen, I need to get out of here, but I’ll come by to check on you in a bit. Do you need me to bring you anything from home? Clothes or something?”

  “No, I’m okay. Thank you though.”

  I stood up and kissed her cheek. “Okay. Love you, girl.”

  “I love you too. Thanks for being such a good friend.”

  “More than that,” I reminded her. “We’re sisters, right?”

  She wiped her eyes and cracked a smile. “Always.”

  : : : :

  I hadn’t even cut the engine before Torch raced across the clubhouse lot, pulled me off the bike, and trapped me in his arms. “God, baby... You okay?”

  No, I wasn’t fucking okay. I’d just spent hours talking to cops, waiting around a hospital, and questioning my culpability in Dana and Gauge losing their baby. None of those made for a good day.

  Fuming, I pushed back against his chest and broke free. “Get off me, Torch. I don’t need a goddamn hug.”

  “What the hell’s wrong with you?” he demanded, scowling in confusion.

  I glared at him. “What’s wrong with me? You wanna do this out here with everybody watching?”

  “Well, since I don’t know what the fuck this is, probably not,” he snarled.

  I gritted my teeth, stepped around him, and power walked my pissed-off ass through the clubhouse and into his room. The door had barely slammed shut behind us before I laid into him. “You remember the conversation we had in this very room last year? I told you, word-for-word, that I’d take a bullet for you as long as I knew what direction it was coming from. You fucking swore to me that you wouldn’t keep me in the dark. But that’s all you’ve been doing lately. Why did somebody try to run us down, Torch? And don’t you dare give me the fucking run-around.”

  He scrubbed his beard and looked away.

  Fuck that. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. “I’m not stupid, we were targeted. This is exactly the kind of shit we agreed to be honest about, so don’t even think about lying to me anymore. You’ve been completely freezing me out and I’m at the end of my fucking rope. So, unless you want me wrapping it around your neck in your sleep… Talk!”

  His nostrils flared and his expression instantly turned from guilt to rage. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to, Liv? In my clubhouse? I’m not doing this with you right now.”

  Torch tried to sidestep me and reached for the door handle, but I was faster and wedged myself between the door and his body. “No!” I snapped. “You’re done pushing me away. I gave you space, I stayed out of it, I tried not to take it personally, but this pussy-footing ends now. Fuck where we are, I don’t give a shit about that patch right now. I’m talking to my goddamn husband, not the club’s VP.”

  “As your goddamn husband and the VP of this club, I’m telling you it’s being taken care of. Back the fuck off,” he growled.

  As he tensed his jaw and took a step back, I noticed his
hands were balled into fists. Fuck that, I wasn’t backing down. It was one thing for him to need some time to process what was happening to the man he saw as a father, it was another to completely shut me out about a threat and try to intimidate me into submission.

  “Or what? Huh? You’ll hit me?” I held my arms out. “Go ahead, fucking hit me. It’ll probably be the most honest thing you’ve done in a while.”

  Torch angrily stared me down for a second, before walking away and slamming a fist into the mirror on top of the dresser. Shattered glass flew in all directions. He turned back around and pointed a finger at me. “You’ve lost your fucking mind. You know damn well I’d never lay a hand on you. Christ!”

  “Yeah, I do know that. What I can’t figure out is why the fuck you’re keeping shit from me when it’s obvious I need to be watching my back.”

  “Babe, I can’t—”

  “Why?”

  “Because I have orders. That’s all I’m gonna say right now.”

  “From who? Buddha?” I stretched out my arm and held it up to his face. “Is this Buddha’s ink?” I demanded. “Is Buddha the one who almost got flattened by a fucking sedan? Just because the man’s sick doesn’t mean he gets to be the third person in this marriage. If you think I’ll just roll over and let you railroad me now that it’s time to put your money where your mouth is, you’re fucking mistaken. Newsflash, baby, you married the wrong bitch for that to work. Should I start doing my own research? I overheard one of the guys at the hospital talking about somebody named Cora, maybe I’ll start there.”

  “Don’t you fucking think about it,” he warned. “This is club business, you need to trust me.”

  “Why the hell should I when you’re flipping the script on a whim?” I asked, in utter disbelief that we were even having this conversation after everything we’d already gone through. “This wasn’t what I agreed to, Torch. Trust is a two-way street. I mean, fuck, what more do I need to do to prove myself? And if it doesn’t mean anything, why should I bother trying? I love you. But I’m not gonna spend the rest of my life catering to your self-serving bullshit in the hopes that you’ll eventually… maybe… show the respect you say you have for me.”